Rip it up and start again
2008 November 24
Why must Scotland celebrate mediocrity?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/7744539.stm
What next? A annual holiday for Glasvegas Day? A Fratelli stamp? An Aztec Camera commemorative mug?
We really are a pathetic little nation.
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Is it just me who thinks ‘The Tartan Clef’ sounds rude.
How far did ye git Jimmy?
Ah got 4 fingers right up her tartan clef.
Ya dirty fucker!
‘Aye, and my thumb wis in her jaggy thistle.’
I dinnae even ken what I mean by that.
This reminds me of a Burns poem which is quite innocently called ‘Cock up yer Beaver’
http://www.robertburns.org/works/333.shtml
When first my brave Johnie lad came to this town,
He had a blue bonnet that wanted the crown;
But now he has gotten a hat and a feather,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
Cock up your beaver, and cock it fu’ sprush,
We’ll over the border, and gie them a brush;
There’s somebody there we’ll teach better behaviour,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
Marvellous!
Ye canny beat a bit of fu’ sprush! Especially in the cock department. Must endeavor to use that phrase in conversation.
How far did ye git Jimmy?
Ah hud ma cock in fu’ sprush.
Ya dirty fucker!
I prefer Burn’s, again entirely innocent, follow up ‘Bawdeep up yir Erchie’
The toun wis busy and the rain did fizz,
And throngs meandered doon te this wan plis;
Tae git a wee morsel o heavenly bliss,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, bawdeep up yir erchie.
Bawdeep up yir erchie, and cock it fu’ sprush,
We’ll over the border, and gie them a brush;
There’s somebody there we’ll teach better behaviour,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, bawdeep up yir erchie.
This reminds me of modern day bard Gwen Stefani’s poem ‘The Bawdeep Escape’
If I could be bawdeep, I know I’ve been a real bad girl
I didn’t mean for you to get hurt
We can make it better, Tell me boy wouldn’t that be bawdeep?
Hmm, reminiscent of The Stranglers 1982 ode ‘Bawdeep’
Many people tell you that they’re your friend
You believe them
You need them
For what’s round the river bend
Some days there’s things on your mind you should keep
Sometimes it’s tougher to look than to leap
Oo-wee-oo-ooh
Better watch out cos I’m bawdeep
Oo-wee-oo-ooh
Better watch out cos I’m bawdeep
Not to mention great hits such as
Baw Deep Mountain High – Ike & Tina Turner
How Bawdeep is Your Love? – The Bee Gees
In Baw Deep – Phil Collins
I sense a xmas album coming on, here is an idea for the front cover (prob NSFW).
http://tinyurl.com/dcmibdfcxmas
…
Bawdeep Planes – BIA
Bawdeep Me Hangin On – Diana Baws
Little Bawdeep Boy – Bawdeep Crosby & David Bawdeep
Christ! I jist aboot opened that at work due to the “prob” bit!
Are yees fuckin mad?
The Balls should have bobbles hanging from them, and tinsel round the shaft, in keeping with the festive theme.
And the inner sleeve could have a restrospective of songs about going bawdeep by prolific bore and journalist, Bawdeep Singh Kohli.
Had bobbles been on display the pair lassie would probably have sussed that mormanski was filming.
It’s a hellishly vivid depiction of the ‘love act’, right enough. Mormanski’s talents as a photographer really have made a marked improvement of late.