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Unicunt

2009 February 26
by Maverickmcp

Saw a guy going to his work, on the main road, on a unicycle this morning. Prick.

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21 Responses leave one →
  1. roochero permalink
    February 26, 2009

    I have witnessed this pr*ck a few times.
    RRRRRAAAAAGE!

  2. mormanski permalink*
    February 26, 2009

    I’ve never seen this guy and only have a vague image in my mind of him unicycling in the cycle lane…

    HHHHHAAAAATTTTTRRRRREEEEEDDDDD!

  3. sauzee permalink
    February 26, 2009

    was he cycling to an office job or the circus? that would decide if i think of him as a prick or not. ken did he hay oan a green wig?

  4. roochero permalink
    February 26, 2009

    When I saw him he had a piece bag roon his neck.

    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCUUUUUUUUUMMMMM!

  5. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 26, 2009

    He looked like an office worker to me. A wanky one at that. Probably with some green charity or other such wank. Ken, what is he trying to prove?

  6. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 26, 2009

    He was also reading the paper at the same time.

    OK, that’s not true, but the cunt might as well have. And no doubt it would be the Guardian.

  7. roochero permalink
    February 26, 2009

    That sort makes me want to start a nuclear war.

  8. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 26, 2009

    Too right. It makes me want to exthplode!!!!! as Johnny Scott would say.

  9. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 26, 2009

    It make me want to eat dog.

  10. mormanski permalink*
    February 26, 2009

    What is with all this…

    “This guy was [whatever] he probably reads the Guardian.”

    Well of course he probably reads the freaking Guardian, it’s the best newspaper in the UK. Why don’t we say

    “This guy was [whatever], he probably drink Coca Cola”

    or

    “This guy was [whatever], I’ll bet he eats Heinz Tomato Ketchup”

    or

    “This guy was [whatever], he probably breathes air”

  11. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 26, 2009

    Cos he’s a wanker. And wankers read the Guardian. So I was using that to illustrate my point.

    FYI The Times is an amazing paper. I found a copy while waiting at Cardiff Airport a couple of weeks ago and was engrossed. It’s so dense. I intend to read it whenever I find a a free copy in future (I’m not paying a £1 or whatever it is a day though)

  12. sauzee permalink
    February 26, 2009

    Wankers do read the guardian and even bigger smarmy smart alec wankers write for the guardian and probably go around the guardian office on unicycles. CUNTS!!

    that said I dont read any newspapers or news websites any more because i dont want to be told what to think and i certainly dont want to see jade goody dying in public, along with the daily update on whether beckham will sign for Ac milan who gives a flying fuck, or the bank crisis, or the fucking housing market going up down fucking pish. CCCCUNNNNTTTS!

  13. roochero permalink
    February 26, 2009

    Unicunt would make a good magazine…

    Music, Movies & pics of unicyclists getting coshed.

  14. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 27, 2009

    It would make a great magazine. And Sauzee, I must disagree – I look forward to watching Jade’s painful demise.

  15. mormanski permalink*
    February 27, 2009

    Sauzee, by not reading newspapers or watching the news, you are making it easier for people to tell you what to think!

    The thing about Jade Goody has been disturbing me for a few weeks and I think I have pin-pointed the reason behind it.

    Reality TV presents you with a one way relationship with its stars. It’s completely safe in the sense that they can never ask you for anything and they expect nothing. It’s similar to young children having an invisible best friend.

    Suddenly, this easy one way relationship has been destroyed. Jade Goody is a real person who will die a horrible and real death at a young age and leave her children motherless. Now I feel genuine sympathy for this person and my responsibility free relationship is gone. It’s as if that invisible friend got pregnant and you have to baby sit for the kid on a Friday night while your mates are out boozing.

  16. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 27, 2009

    Lay off the Trimble. She’s a genius. A smug, rather nerdy one, I grant you. But a good shagging would set that right (dungshoot entrance, obviously).

  17. Maverickmcp permalink
    February 27, 2009

    Joking aside, I think the Guardian is excellent, particularly the website. However, there are occasionally some articles in it which do it no service and which play up to its stereotyping by the right wing that it is a namby-pampy liberal paper, and here is one such example:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/feb/27/sexism-equality-hollywood

    An extremely weak article written by a woman about old films being sexist because there are not enough female characters in them. I think the most recent film she mentions is Godfather 2. Ken, kind of an easy point to make given that the world was a much more sexist place 30 odd years ago so it seems only logical that films made then would be too, however subconsciously.

    And ken, I am no sitting around counting how many positive depictions there are of males in the current ‘Confessions of a Shopoholic’, although that is probably because I’d rather cook toast in my Jap’s eye than watch that pile of shite (although I would shag Isla Fisher)

  18. sauzee permalink
    February 28, 2009

    I heard that isla wid shag you maverickmcp. u remember that time at t in the park when someone overheard us saying we wid shag the singer from some band we were waiting on – canny mind the name of them. they begin with a b. whats the fucking name. oniwey he totally shot us down in flames. bastard.

  19. sauzee permalink
    February 28, 2009

    mormanski, i need ye tae explain – i dont really see your reasoning when you say im making it easier for people to tell me what to think because im ignoring things that are designed to reach people on mass, for the most part biased and designed to shape and influence the way they think.

    Reading depressing stories or the same theme and garbage everyday is going to change my mood, my outlook on life and the way i think about things. Surely a large majority of people believe most if not everything they are spoon fed in the media without questioning it. fair enough i will be less informed about current events but why should that matter to me.

    I agree with what you said about Goody. To begin with the media potrayed her as an ugly hound, dumb as fuck, racist, disgusting, vile, a pig they told us we must hate her. Now they have decided that aye wait a minute forget all that she is a real person shes actually dying we can run with this, we must all now feel sorry for her. everybody. So if i hadnt read any stories about her or knew who she was surely i could make a more informed judgement about her by meeting her face to face and speaking to her.

  20. mormanski permalink*
    March 1, 2009

    Sauzee,

    Was the band called Brother Beyond?

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