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Pee In The Dark

2009 July 14
by mormanski

Where’s the reviews, bawsacks!

28 Responses leave one →
  1. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    Calvin Harris… our timetables proved to be a bit dodgy and we missed him. Saw a bit on telly, which looked ace, and the reports I got were that he was the highlight of the day.

    Lady GaGa… Simply awful. I was open minded and expected 3 minute pop bursts but had to endure songs extended to a drawling, dreary 10 minutes plus. The worst act I’ve ever seen at T in the Park.

    Paolo Nutini… Bright & breezy. Perfect for the mid-afternoon sun. A great singer and seems a decent bloke.

    White Lies… only caught the last couple of songs. Death was good.

    James… heard the end of their set but wasn’t paying attention. Boring.

    The Specials… Pretty decent. Can’t beat a bit of skank.

    Razorlight… Better than expected (feint praise indeed) but not really the quality of band expected in this slot for an £80 ticket.

    The Killers… Not as good as expected but still enjoyable. The latest album doesn’t translate well to live performance.

    In summary I felt a bit ripped off at going to Europe’s most expensive festival and realising how much Glastonbury pisses all over it. None of the bands could be described as exciting but we still had a bounce & a gid laugh.

  2. mormanski permalink*
    July 14, 2009

    Europe’s most expensive festival? You’ll have to back that one up, because it clearly isn’t.

  3. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/music/newsid_7331000/7331375.stm

    Article is from last year. Ticket prices were around 10% more expensive for T this year.

  4. mormanski permalink*
    July 14, 2009

    TITP – £170 for standard weekend camping ticket
    Glastonbury – £175 for standard weekend camping ticket
    Roskilde – £205 for standard weekend camping ticket.

  5. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    Roskilde: 4 Day festival
    Glastonbury: 5 Day festival
    T: 2 and a half day festival

    cost per day…

    Ros: £51.25
    Gla: £35.00
    T: £68.00

  6. mormanski permalink*
    July 14, 2009

    Whoa there, who mentioned cost per day? Or value for money? You said it’s the most expensive!

    What’s more expensive a £200 gold watch or a £300 plastic watch?

    p.s. It’s the plastic watch, because it’s more expensive.

  7. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    Which hotel is most expensive?

    1. A hotel you stay in for five years which charges you £400
    2. A hotel you stay in for one day which charges you £399

    1. has paid most for their hotel bill but 2. is the most expensive hotel

  8. mormanski permalink*
    July 14, 2009

    This is the case when you compare like with like. For instance, one room in one hotel for one night compared to another room in another hotel for one night.

    So let’s compare like with like. Luckily, I already did.

    TITP – £170 for standard weekend camping ticket
    Glastonbury – £175 for standard weekend camping ticket
    Roskilde – £205 for standard weekend camping ticket.

  9. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    You’re not comparing “like with like” as “weekend” differs for each festival.

  10. Maverickmcp permalink
    July 14, 2009

    Cannae be arsed writing much as I am working on next Val Dood installment (another backstory episode). But….

    Gaga – agree with Roochero. Utter pish. And she’s no even braw. Gutted it wisnae Lily Allen who I watched on telly yesterday and was ace and extremely sexy.

    Paulo – aye, good, better than expected. Nothing much to his songs but did their job at that time of the day and drunkeness.

    White Lies – must admit me and Rooch talked throughout their set so underfair to judge but sounded OK, although very derivative – Cure, Joy Division etc.

    James – the 3 I heard were pleasing, nothing else much to say.

    Razorlight – enjoyable, all the songs from their latest album went down like Lady Gaga’s knickers, but the hits were well executed.

    Killers – must disagree with Rooch’s account. Thought the band played a blinder, full of energy and showmanship. Rooch was clearly unfamiliar with many of their songs (including some that were Top 10 hits) so this may have detracted from his enjoyment, but I thought they more than made up for the rather flat daytime line-up.

    In summary – Killers and Specials made it a great day, alongside the company I kept.

    However, I must point out without joking in the slightest that Blur at Hyde Park was incredible. Stunning.

  11. roochero permalink
    July 14, 2009

    Tis true I’m no great Killers fan. Only have a few of their tracks on the itunes but last time I saw them they were a bit better.

  12. Maverickmcp permalink
    July 15, 2009

    maybe they were. Last time I saw them I was gangsta trippin’ :p

  13. mormanski permalink*
    July 15, 2009

    There are 3 houses:

    House A – £100,000
    House B – £200,000
    House C – £300,000

    Q. Which is the most expensive house.

    Mormanski and rest of humanity:
    A. It is house C.

    Roochero:
    A. How many bedrooms have they each got?

  14. roochero permalink
    July 15, 2009

    mormanski – “Hello Mr Jeweller, I’d like to buy some gold please!”

    Mr Jeweller – “Certainly, I have a 5kg lump for £10 or a 5g speck for £9″

    mormanski – “I’ll have the 5g speck please as that is the least expensive gold.”

    Mr Jeweller – “A wise choice sir. Come back tomorrow and I will have 1,000 more specks which I can sell to you at £9 each.”

    mormanski – “Yippee!”

  15. mormanski permalink*
    July 15, 2009

    Punter:
    Q. I am poor and only have £170. Which festivals are not too expensive for me to buy a ticket?

    Mormanski + World:
    A. You can only go to TITP. Both Glastonbury and Roskilde are too expensive for you, sorry.

    Punter: Thanks, I’ll spend my £170 on a ticket for TITP.

    Roochero:
    A. You can go to all of the festivals, I recommend Glastonbury because it is the cheapest.

    Punter: I cannot go to Glastonbury as I do not have enough money. You sir, are an idiot and have clearly confused the concepts of expensiveness and value for money. I bid you good day.

  16. mormanski permalink*
    July 15, 2009

    p.s. It was that punter calling you an idiot and not me!

  17. roochero permalink
    July 15, 2009

    Punter:
    Q. I have £500. Enough to buy a ticket to any festival in Europe. Where should I go?

    roochero + world:
    A. The costs per day are… Roskilde: £51.25, Glastonbury: £35.00, T in the Park: £68.00

    Punter: Based on cost per day T in the Park is the most expensive

    Mormanski:
    A. T in the Park is the least expensive!

    Punter: Mormanski, you sir, are an idiot and a pedant. I would need to go to T in the Park twice to provide a “like for like” of what Glastonbury offers, rendering T in the Park the most expensive festival.

  18. mormanski permalink*
    July 15, 2009

    Roochero:
    TITP is the most expen…

    Punter:
    Shut your fucking face you fucking bawjawed bastard. I’m going to stick my foot so far up your fucking arsehole that you’ll be spewing laces.

  19. mormanski permalink*
    July 15, 2009

    Right, that’s enough, I’m going to have to ban Punter. This is not acceptable language on this forum.

  20. Maverickmcp permalink
    July 15, 2009

    I like this Punter guy :)

  21. sauzee permalink
    July 17, 2009

    I have to say I found the mormanski vs roochero expensive debate very amusing. more please.

  22. sauzee permalink
    July 17, 2009

    what ive seen of t on the tv looked alright:

    some guy called seasick pete or joe or something was quite entertaining.
    lilly allen was melted and entertaining.
    white lies are interpol/editors wanabees but are alright. or are they all just joy division wanabees.
    a band called hockey – the lead singer is a bob dylan wanabee they are mince.
    blur sounded pretty gid they played the hits although the gap or gold tooth that damon was sporting not so much.
    didnt see anything of the killers but they bore me now.
    razorlight/james – same old same old. t in the park by numbers.
    elbow – one gid song the rest dull.

    there was a programme on bbc 3 with just people doing acoustic sets that was pretty gid. nutini was one of them. sounded pretty gid. first album is class. new stuff not so much.

  23. Maverickmcp permalink
    July 17, 2009

    Aye, an utter pointless debate. Both were right in their own way, but also utterly misguided in their attempts to put their arguments across. To be honest, only the famed Punter came out of it looking good. The next blockbuster movie franchise cash-in? It has to be:

    Val Dood V Punter:
    The Guardian of the Free World takes on the Penny Pinching, Nay-Saying Visionary of Dystopian Britain

    Whoever wins – we lose!

  24. mormanski permalink*
    July 19, 2009

    Punter:
    Q. I have £1 Million. I love money and to fill the hole in my empty pointless existence I wish to conspicuously consume a musical festival. Which is the most expensive one?

    Mormanski
    A. Roskilde in Denmark is the most expensive one. Have fun!

    Punter
    But I heard this person called Roochero say it was T in the Park?

    Mormanski
    The man is an idiot, he was talking about value for money and didn’t realise what he was on about. He thinks T in the Park is the most expensive per day at £68.

    Punter
    But in that case, I saw Bruce Springsteen at a music festival in Hyde Park. The ticket cost £55 for 8 hours. This makes it £165 per day. That would mean even in Roochero’s twisted universe, T in the Park would still not be the most expensive.

    Mormanski
    I see what you’re saying. Even if we accept his initial mistake, we can take his crazy logic and use it to prove him wrong? Very clever. Thus his initial statement

    “I felt a bit ripped off at going to Europe’s most expensive festival”

    is wrong, no matter which way you look at it.

    Punter
    Exactly.

    Mormanski
    OK, I’ll be sure to mention this to the bawjaw next time I see him.

  25. roochero permalink
    July 20, 2009

    I wonder if mormanski will attend this “Bruce Springsteen Festival” next year?

    What’s that Punter? It’s not on next year? It was a one-off event? It was a Springsteen gig plus support? You’re right Punter, it doesn’t qualify. Yes, yes he is an absolute tool.

  26. Maverickmcp permalink
    July 20, 2009

    It was done. Hopefully that would be the end of it, Punter mused. He moved addresses, changed both his mobiles and landlines, his e-mail address, his name by deed pole and deleted all of his social networking accounts. The facial reconstructive surgery was just weeks away. Hopefully that would put a stop to his inclusion in the incessant squabbling of idiots. Hope fully then he could sleep and get on with his life.

    Then a knock at the door. He opened the door with trepidation…

    “Punter, hiya, have you got a minute? I just wanted to run my latest half-baked argument past you before I unleash it on Roochero..”

    No. No!!!! Mormanski had found them. But there then came a chink of light in the form of a ringing phone. That would give him a suitable diversion to turn Mormanski away.

    “Sorry Mormanski, I must answer that..” I said, with a sly grin. Whoever it was, surely couldn’t be any worse than this gobshite.

    “Hello?”

    “Punter, hiya. Roochero here. Do you have a minute? I just wanted to…”

    Punter drew the Colt.45 from his desk drawer and blew his brains out.

  27. roochero permalink
    July 20, 2009

    Poor Punter… I was just startin to like the guy too.

  28. sauzee permalink
    July 20, 2009

    Ive heard there are a lot of punters out there to be called upon at any time.

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