The Best Album Ever Written
2009 July 16
Contrary to popular belief, the best album ever written is not Blood On The Tracks by Bob Dylan (it’s actuallythe second best album ever written). The best album ever written is Blue by Joni mitchell. It’s certainly not Hejira by Joni Mitchell which is only the third best album ever written.
I know what you’re thinking, why is Blue better than Hejira? It’s a difficult question to answer because Hejira is truly amazing. The reason must ultimately rest in the fact that if we were to cease to exist as a species and we had to choose only one album to represent the entire human race, we would have to choose Blue. There are no other serious contenders.
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I have not heard Blue but to earn the ‘best album’ title I assume it must be something of a volte face for Mitchell, given that every song of hers I have heard thus far has been awful. Please can you confirm, so that I do not waste more of my time listening to her artless claptrap?
Predator: …I thought Val Dood would never die
Alien: He was tougher than Ripley & Schwarz combined. Jeez I’m tired!
Predator: Almost fitting that he should have been the last human alive
Alien: I found this onboard the human’s ship… a time capsule
Predator: What’s inside
Alien: This album, Blue by Joni Mitchell. It says this is the legacy of the human race.
Predator: She’s one ugly motherf*cker
Alien: Agreed… let’s hear what it sounds like
Predator: Yeugh! This is more gruesome than one of your childbirths. I thought humans have verve and tenacity. You can’t even dance to this mince. Is this the legacy of the human race?
Alien: There’s more bile in this album than in my Pappy’s stomach. I wish there were more humans alive to kill.
Predator: There’s a note attached… “Sorry about this poorly judged choice. It was mormanski’s idea. He is an utter fandan” Signed “Punter”
out of all the albums ever released i doubt many would vote for joni.
this Val Dood thing is still way over my head.
Get into it. Immmerse yourself in the world of Val Dood. It’s a living text. Become the Dood. Achieve Doodity. Forget everything you think you know. Or as The Shamen so eloquently put it:
See the light
Enter the light
Become the light
Shine
ken, its still not clear what you are talking about? now i think val dood its linked to a poor indie dance band from the early 90′s. seriously tho what is it? State what it is in basic english or frick off. has it got anything to do with ken dood and val kilmar as jim morrison? do you have to kiss the snake on the tounge to figure it out?
that said.
“The reason must ultimately rest in the fact that if we were to cease to exist as a species and we had to choose only one album to represent the entire human race, we would have to choose Blue. There are no other serious contenders”.
If we were to cease to exist as a species there would be noone to care are about joni mitchell – just like now when we are all alive. in fact you are the only one that I have encoutered in my lifetime that has ever mentioned joni mitchell. I havent spoken to anyone in 33 years who has said “joni mitchell” who hasnt heard it first from you.
hit the Val Dood click at the top of the page and then starting reading Sauzee. And enter a new world of joy.
nut
up on the top right
read it
“I havent spoken to anyone in 33 years who has said “joni mitchell” who hasnt heard it first from you.”
I cry salty tears for you.